There was a big crowd in the Landmark Theater in West LA last night. One could assume that it was a liberal crowd, in part because this was West LA, but also because many of these people were staying for the Nation fundraiser party afterward.
Also, it was not a young a young crowd. There were some thirty-somethings but also a bunch of seventy-somethings.
The clock hit six. The lights dimmed. And we were off. (Please forgive any typos that I haven’t yet caught.)
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As they shake hands, Palin asks into the open mic, “Hey can I call you Joe?” (The crowd groans at the ploy.)
6:04 Gwen: Asks about the economic crisis.
Joe: The economy sucks under George Bush. Barack Obama will make it un-sucky.
(Joe is looking good. Calm. )
Sarah: Go to a kid soccer game on Saturday, and I betcha you’re going to hear some fear.
(Has Sarah has re-streaked her hair? She’s lost the stressed, deer-in the headlights look. The black suit is very pretty. And her shoes are great. Usually Palin has remarkably irritating taste in shoes, which is weird because she’s got good legs. But these are winners. Simple, chic and sexy. And she has a way bigger flag pin than Biden does.)
Sarah: McCain worked for “regulation” of “Freddy and Fanny.”
(He did not! shouts the room.)
(Palin always talks about Freddy and Fanny as if they’re people she knows from the Wasilla City Council. She does not, however, sound as if she could adequately define them.)
6:06: Joe: (He brings up the McCain remark about fundamentals of economy being strong.
Sarah smirks, and waggles her head.)
6:08 – Sarah: He did not! Workers are strong! Workers, workers, workers! Barack is partisan! Joe, you’re old!
(What’s with the whisper-y thing? She’s got a combination whisper-sneer going.)
Gwen: Who was at fault [for the economic meltdown]?
6:09: Sarah: Darn right! It was the predator lenders. Joe six-pack and hockey moms and us are gonna join hands and stop all that.
6:10. More on how she and McCain are going to kick Congress’s butt and reform and regulate everything to within an inch of its life.( Whenever possible Palin drops her “G’s.” Presumably one is more six-pack-y if one drops one’s “G’s”)
6:11: Joe: I know regulators. Regulators are my friends. And John McCain is no regulator. Barack? He regulates. Besides, McCain wrote a stupid article about unregulating health care.
(Smirk from Palin.)
Joe: I talked to my friend Joey Danko who can’t afford to fill up his gas tank. (See! I can be six-pack-y too. Danko! Hits the Six-pack vote AND the Catholic vote! Oh, snap!)
Sarah: Darn right! Barack voted for the largest tax increases in U.S. History.
(Active muttering in room.)
(Note: Palin repeatedly injects into her answers expressions such as “Darn right,” whether they fit or not. Maybe it’s a new, self-induced form of Tourettes.)
Joe: John McCain voted for way, way, WAY more for taxes. Way more!
Sarah: Joe, Gwen. Screw your stupid questions. I’m going to talk straight to the American people. Free airtime! Woooo-hooo!
6:15: Gwen: interrupts and asks about health care.
Joe: 100 million middle class families got no tax breaks under McCain. McCain wants to give tax breaks to rich people. Rich people, I tell you!
(Sarah smirks. ) I will take issue with that redistribution of wealth idea. (You and Barack are commie pinkos.) (Seriously? “Redistribution of wealth???? Which coach thought that one was a good idea??
(She’s clearly been coached not to hesitate no matter what, and she doesn’t. Her sheer velocity is impressive. )
6:19 Joe: (He’s pissed. This is good. ) You know how John McCain gets the money to give you a five thousand dollar tax break on health care? Tax breaks for the rich.
I call that the ultimate bridge to nowhere! (The crowd whoops. Loves the line.)
6:21 Gwen: Given the economy, what promises won’t you be able to keep should you be elected?
Sarah: (smiling sweetly) “I’ve only been at this for, what, five weeks? So I haven’t made that many promises.”
(Sarah smiles and Joe smiles. It’s a competative baring of teeth.)
6:30: (The strategy Palin and her handlers have devised is very simple. Whatever the question, she answers what she damn pleases, trotting out her planned talking points.
If the question is so pointed and direct that she can’t dodge, she answers with a quick yes or no, nothing more—-given so fast that no one has time to figure if the answer applies to the question—-and then she goes on to her talking point of choice, no matter how unrelated to the subject at hand, and all with the most possible conviction. She’s good. Slightly pathological in her ability to lie without blinking, but good.)
6:30 Gwen: Climate change.
6:31: Sarah: I’m in Alaska! I can see climate changes from where I live.. I don’t care about the causes.
6:32: Joe: If we don’t know the cause, we can’t fix it. And all John McCain wants to do is drill-drill-drill.
6:34: Sarah: (Smirking and sighing) The chant is, Drill baby drill. (Translation: You don’t get it, you old fart.)
6:38: Gwen: Iraq?
6:39: Sarah: Eye-rack. I love Eye-rack. John McCain has plans. I love plans. I love Petraeus He’s a hero. I love heros. Barack hates our troops. Hates heros. I know the word “Shia.”
Joe: (gives his and Barack’s Iraq rap.)
Sarah: Your plan is a white flag of surrender. That’s not what our soldiers need right now. (Barack Obama hates our soldiers.)
Joe: John McCain has been dead wrong, Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Gwen: Pakistan?
Joe: Fact-fact-fact. I know this shit. Pakistan, Afghanistan. 7000 Madrassas along the border. But John says it’s all about Iraq. And it’s not.
Sarah: I can pronounce Ahmadinejad. The Castro brothers. (WTF? The Castro Brothers????)
I like Henry Kissinger, he likes me. Dictators hate America.
6:51: (Several long minutes spent attempting to pander to Israel using the word “holocaust” multiple times.)
6:52: Sarah: We like a two state solution. No holocausts. Freedom’s on the march.
6:53: Joe: Hamas. Hezbollah. Bush screwed up. Sarah, you don’t know shit. The only thing on the march is Iran.
Gwen: Has the mid-east policy of the Bush administration been an abject failure?
6:58: Sarah: One word answer. Maverick. Change is coming. John McCain knows how to win a war. He knows what EVIL is.
7:07: Gwen: (Heartbeat away question.) What kind of president would you be??
Joe: This is the most important election since 1932.
Sarah: What d’ya expect? We’re a team of mavericks! I’m going to get him to drill in ANWAR. We’re putting government back on the side of the people. Joe Six pack.
Joe: Walk with me in my neighborhood. I’ve got neighborhoods too. Lots of neighborhoods. Better than your neighborhoods.
Sarah: Joe, there you go again. (Reagan, Reagan, Reagon.) Your wife’s a teacher. God bless her. Her reward is in heaven.
Gwen: What would you do as vice president. (Quotes infamous remark in which Palin was unsure what a Veep did all day. )
Sarah: That was a joke! You’re too stupid to get my jokes. Joe, you’re a joke, too. I know what a vice president does. In fact, I’m going to be Dick Cheney in lipstick. I want the Veep to have more power. (Whaaaa? More power than Cheney?)
GWEN: Do you believe, like Dick Cheney, that the VP’s power isn’t restricted to the executive branch?
Sarah: I agree with Dick. He has guns.
(SIDE NOTE: I’m making light of it, but this is a little unsettling.)
Joe: Vice president Cheney has been the most dangerous VP in history, (Big applause line.)
Gwen: What are your downsides? Your Achilles heel?
Sarah: My heels are fine. I like peep toe shoes. Kitchen table. Special needs kids. I have a world view. America is a nation of exceptionalism. Reagan. Shining City. (You are growing sleepy, very sleepy, Reagan, Reagan, Reagan)
Joe: (Refrains from suggesting that Sarah doesn’t know what an Achilles heel is.)
I understand what it’s like to be a single father. I understand what it’s like to have a child you’re not sure is going to make it.
(Biden tears up here. It’s genuinely touching. For the first time Palin seems somewhat rattled by the real moment.)
7:21: Joe: John McCain is no maverick and I’m gonna list the reasons why not. (And he does in, in great and effective detail..)
Gwen: Closing statements.
Sarah: Elect us or terrible things will happen, we’ll all be living in a Mad Max scary-ass world with zero freedoms . None. Zip!
I’ve always been proud to be an American.. John McCain is also proud to be an American. (Those other guys, not so much)
7:22: (Palin has now taken to winking at the camera. As twitches go, it’s a fairly interesting one.)
Joe: Dignity and responsibility. Let’s get up together, Champ!. America’s ready. I’m ready. Barack Obama is readiest of all.
May God protect our troops. All of our sons.
(Yes. What Joe said.)
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That’s it.
I leave the rest to the pundits.
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PS: The play afterward—Don’t Blame Me I Voted for Helan Gahagan Douglas—was great! Very, very smart, funny, and eerily timely. If it’s performed again, I’ll post it here, as it was a winner. (And Wendie Malick is fabulous as Douglas.)
Thanks for the coverage!
I was at Royce Hall listening to music instead – I needed it.
Your friend’s play sounds great.
One thing that struck me about Palin’s strategy was how grating it must have been to an actual conservative intellectual. “Get rid of greed on Wall Street!” That’s pretty dumb, especially coming from a conservative. How the hell do you “get rid of greed”, especially on Wall Street. “Greed”, i.e. monetary self-interest and the effort to maximize profits are a driver in the capitalist economy. Of course, even Adam Smith – the prophet of self-interest and competitiveness as the key to economic growth – was not a proponent of greed, as defined by monopolistic or deceptive business practices. But that’s why he advocated a system of regulation to keep markets relatively fair and manageable, and a government which didn’t show preference to powerful corporations. Nobody in their right mind could take “We’ll get rid of greed” as a serious proposal. Restrain malpractices, re-regulate the financial sector, etc. etc. But “gettin’ rid of Greed” is nonsense – and in the theological and political philosophy realms that Palin is supposed to represent, almost as blasphemous as it is ridiculous.
These debate questions from Gwen Ifill were simply not fair.
* Is it smart for a mother to abandon her young children and jet around the country with an older, married man?
* When field dressing a moose, you bleed it, break the bones, slice it, then gut it. Gov. Palin, how would that experience guide your Social Security policy?
* Joe, when you talk to Barack, does he ever mention me?
* Yes, I’ve written an inaugurational book titled “The Breakthrough: Politics and Race in the Age of Obama.†But to be fair, I’ve also written one to be released if Obama loses  “The Breakdown: Politics and Race in the Age of a Cancer-Splotched Crank and a Stupid Moose-Hunting Whore.†Too subtle?
* Should taxes be doubled or tripled? And what about the second year?
* Gov. Palin, please briefly explain how Quantum Chromodynamics give rise to the physics of nuclei and nuclear constituents. And Sen. Biden, in response, what’s your favorite color?
* So what salary range is Obama considering for his White House press secretary? Full medical/dental, I assume?
* Time for audience questions. Remember to limit the subjects to Delaware history, Washington cocktail parties and male pattern baldness.
* Mayor Palin, Barack Obama is a handsome, charismatic demigod. How many boxes of Kleenex will you need after your crushing loss?
* Senator Biden, what is your favorite color? And if you have time for a follow-up question: Why?
* Mayor, you talk funny and you own a tanning bed. Why haven’t you released Trig’s birth certificate?
* Senator, have you seen those pictures of Obama in his swim trunks? If not, I have them right here.
* Mayor, what are the names, ages, and blood types of all 71 members of the Belgian Senate? And why are you unwilling to admit that your inability to instantly produce any and every fact I demand makes you unfit to stand in the way of history?
* Senator, you’ve spoken at length. Could you please continue?
* Mayor, which is your preferred method of stifling dissent, banning books or burning them? Since it’s both, please explain how you can deny the accusation that you’re a fascist, which I am making now.
* Senator, could you please sign my book?
* Senator, describe what would be the best method to treat Russia after its invasion of Georgia?
* Governor, what tastes better, the beating hearts of baby harp seals or the beating hearts of baby polar bears?
* Senator, given the recent financial crisis, what, in your opinion, is the best resolution, and how would you stop the Republicans from blocking further bailout measures?
* Governor, how does it feel to be a token pick by a cynical, rich, old white man, selling out feminist principles to further your own political desires?
* Senator, being part of an historical ticket, explain how the election of Obama to the presidency would transform the world into a peaceful, loving place.
* Governor, if you’re really pro-life, then why aren’t you at home, barefoot and pregnant, taking care of your special needs child? Don’t you think it would have been better for all of society had you not drowned your baby in a bucket instead of letting him become a burden to you, your husband, and all of society? I mean, imagine all those dollars sucked away by your preening infant that could have gone to health care of the unemployed and homeless children?
* Senator, can you explain why you were added to the Obama ticket and how it shows great leadership by Obama to have complemented himself with someone older and wiser in policy making and foreign policy?
* Governor, can you name the Prime Minister of any of these countries? Trinidad, LIberia, Madagascar, Laos?
* How can you possibly be qualified, Governor, if you don’t know who any of these people are?
* Senator, can you name the Prime Minister of Russia, England, or Canada?
* Governor, can you cite five Supreme Court cases and what their impact was?
* Senator, which Supreme Court Justices would a President Obama get rid of and replace with progressives?
* Last question, Governor. Are you sleeping with John McCain?
Was that supposed to be funny ?
I’m often forced to say that liberals don’t have a sense of humor. This is one of those times.
I thought it was pretty funny. Here’s the Sarah Palin debate flow chart posted at Andrew Sullivan’s at Atlantic online:
http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/2008/10/03/palinflow.jpg
(Thank you to my smart pal, Nancy, for pointing it out.)
Woody,
Are ya kidding me, da mayor o’ Wasilla, Alaska? Yeah, that’s who ya wants in da White House during uh tyme o’ crisis. When she got uh phone page at 3 in da morning, it wuz cuz uh moose had gotten in da garbage can. what ‘chew trippin foo’
Palin simply repeated a bunch of canned sound bites she crammed for three days to learn. Joe Biden was relaxed, thoughtful, and provided specifics. No contest. Our country is in a horrible mess thanks to the most incompetent and corrupt administration in modern history. Only a brain dead, one issue evangelical, or a racist NASCAR hillbilly would vote for that angry, confused, bitter old man and his bimbo running mate. God have mercy on our souls if their ignorant coalition elects those two losers.
The expectations for Sarah Palin were so low, that as long as she didn’t trip walking out on stage, and could form complete sentences when speaking, made her appear to be a genius.
I couldn’t believe how many times she completely avoided answering the questions, and when asked about her Achille’s heel, she talked about her strengths – doesn’t she even know what an Achille’s heel is – a weakness, not a strength.
Also, when she couldn’t answer a question, she changed the subject back to energy. That is not now you debate. She relied on memorized soundbites, and granted, she memorized them well. But it was so obvious that she was given pat responses and instructions to get specific points across, that she did so, even when not answering the questions. If this ticket got elected, and she actually had to deal with foreign powers, she couldn’t handle it.
Her response about everyone working together was laughable. In her own administration, she fired everyone who didn’t agree with her – she won’t be able do do that if she’s elected.
Sorry folks, this debate just showed that she has a presence on TV, and that goes back to her days working as a newscaster, reading the news from her monitor. For me, an undecided voter, she convinced me to vote for Obama/Biden.
Woody, you don’t have a clue about humor. Really. You’re one of the least funny people on the planet because it’s just childish shit with you. You’ve got zero perspective – it’s “I’m right and everybody else who doesn’t agree with me is stupid” all the time. And you express that hubris so crudely and stupidly that it’s totally transparent. The truth is, Palin made some inadvertently funny comments in the debate without having to make shit up, like: “A nuclear war, that’s the be-all and the end-all. That’s bad. A lot of people, gone.” I mean, give me a break. So when I think your attempt to perpetuate some utterly bogus, whiny notion of Gwen Ifill as being biased against Palin, when in fact she treated her with kid gloves and didn’t do any tough followups to Palin’s garbled bullshit, empty generalizations and false assertions. So, no you’re not funny. You’re pathetic, annoying and and quite often just fucking ridiculous.
Palin was reciting from the teleprompter in her head. It could have been about recipes for all she cared. In the very beginning of the debate she said she would not answer and she made good on it.
oops… “So NO, I DON’T THINK your attempt to perpetuate some utterly bogus, whiny notion of Gwen Ifill as being biased against Palin IS FUNNY, blah blah…”
I’m still tring to figure out what Gov. Palin delivered. Hot air? Yes, and lots of it. Empty rhetoric? Oh yeah!!!! Inaccurate facts? Loads. Lies? Of course. While she is attractive (just love those cute little winks and smug little smiles Palin gives) she is still unable to answer a question of substance directly. Please let this nightmare be over. Only a little over a month and Gov. Palin can become what she will be for evermore….a foot note in presidential histroy, a one trick pony, and the undoing of Johnny McFlipFlop. Amen and good ridance guv.
As per Joe Klein, Krauthammer throws in the towel.
Aside from tearing up over his family tragedies the most impressive thing Biden did last night was congratulate Palin for RAISING taxes on the oil companies in her state and passing the proceeeds to residents. Then pointing out that Obama wants a windfall profits tax on big oil to provide a thousand dollar rebate to every family to counter rising gas and heating oil prices. A move that McCain opposes. Palin really dropped that one.
Wow – Intrade, the Prez betting market, has Obama nearly 70-30.
Mortgage forgiven for woman who shot self…
Fannie Mae said today it will set aside the loan of a woman who shot herself as sheriff’s deputies tried to evict her from her foreclosed home. Addie Polk, 90, of Akron, Ohio, became a symbol of the nation’s home mortgage crisis when she was hospitalized after shooting herself at least twice in the upper body Wednesday afternoon.
On Friday, Fannie Mae spokesman Brian Faith said the mortgage association had decided to halt action against Polk and sign the property “outright” to her.
“We’re going to forgive whatever outstanding balance she had on the loan and give her the house,” Faith said. “Given the circumstances, we think it’s appropriate.”
Palin could not remind more of George Bush if she put on a flightsuit and hollered about tourists getting WMD’s. The inexperience, lack of world engagement, self-certainty, sly smugness, winks and ticks, all the way down to the pronunciation of nuclear. I can’t believe any one outside the hardcore 20% is ready for another ride.
Mortgage forgiven for woman who shot self…
She lived…and, you think that Dick Cheney is a bad shot. If shooting yourself gets you out of paying your mortgage, watch for a massive run on guns.
Woody why You So Stupid?
MY RESULT: Your Stupidity Like Earth – No One Knows Its Origins.
Your brain subject of great debate for generations. None of most brilliant ancient thinkers understand how you could get so stupid in such a short time. Now it up to you in interest of science to put end to debate. You must wander ends of earth in search of answer to why you so stupid.
You need time also with Dali Lama, play rock paper scissors and then Dali Lama will dance for you.