Writers and Writing

The Bad News & the Good News


The bad news (for me) is
that I’m stuck at the Detroit airport (Don’t ask. Suffice it to say that Southwest Airlines might actually be in league with Satan.). And the place has lousy Wifi.

The very GOOD news, however, is the fact that the fantastically smart and canny Alan Mittelstaedt will be your host here for the next couple of weeks.

I’ll check in from time to time from my literary enclave at Bennington College, and then later when I’m off to D.C.. But Al will be running the show.

I’ve asked him to do his best to save the state of California while I’m away. (God knows someone’s got to.)


Xoxo: C.

PS: Please give Alan your help in all state-saving activities.


  • I think we all need to get behind the one presidential candidate who predicted the economic meltdown who is now calling for an audit of the Federal Reserve. Congressman Ron Paul from Texas and 213 cosponsors signed onto H.R. 1207, the Federal Reserve Transparency Act of 2009 that demands an audit of the organization.

    “To understand how unwise it is to have the Federal Reserve, one must first understand the magnitude of the privileges they have,” he wrote in a recent Straight Talk commentary. “They have been given the power to create money, by the trillions, and to give it to their friends, under any terms they wish, with little or no meaningful oversight or accountability.”

    The Constitution, Paul said, gives Congress, not the private Federal Reserve, “the authority to coin money and regulate the value of the currency.”

    “Throughout its nearly 100-year history, the Federal Reserve has presided over the near-complete destruction of the United States dollar,” the Texas Republican said. “Since 1913 the dollar has lost over 95 percent of its purchasing power, aided and abetted by the Federal Reserve’s loose monetary policy.”

  • Celeste, the Obama auto czar ordered the Obama airport czar to have airlines stop in Detroit to aid the Obama rust-state czar so that the Obama wealth distribution czar could carry out his orders from the Obama socialist czar and give more control to the Obama blog czar. Blame yourself for being one of the czars who put Obama in office.

    – – –

    For reg…a movie that you’re sure to enjoy and with which to feel an identification.

    From Drudge Report: GAY GROUPS GROWING CONCERN OVER ‘BRUNO’ – Thu Jun 11 2009 09:05:55 ET

    After an exhaustive and controversial production proccess, Sacha Baron Cohen and UNIVERSAL are finally set to unleash BRUNO onto the multiplex — and gay groups are reacting with “deeply mixed” emotions!

    “Some people in our community may like this movie, but many are not going to be OK with it,” Rashad Robinson, senior director for the GAY AND LESBIAN ALLIANCE AGAINST DEFAMATION, tells the NEW YORK TIMES in a planned Sunday expose.

    …Brad Luna, a spokesman for HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN, warns the movie should come with disclaimer: “We strongly feel that Sacha Baron Cohen and UNIVERSAL PICTURES have a responsibility to remind the viewing public right there in the theater that this is intended to expose homophobia.”

    …In one scene Bruno appears on a talk show holding a baby who is wearing a T-shirt reading “Gayby.”

    The sequence flashes to Bruno having sex in a hot tub while the baby sits nearby. He then boasts to the outraged studio audience that the baby is a man magnet. “You’re going to burn in hell for that one!” shouts an unknowing audience member (playing the part of Woody).

    Elton John blushed and balked when Cohen asked if he could play “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” for a scene (sure to excite reg) in which Bruno, participating in a cage-fighting match in Arkansas, pulls down his opponent’s pants and kisses him on the mouth, prompting a horrified crowd to throw garbage at him.

    Cohen’s favorite BRUNO scene is said involve the comic strutting around ultra-orthodox streets of Jerusalem in short-shorts and Hasidic black hat. (One more example of gays hitching their wagons to Jews.)

  • That’s a very stately picture of Mittelstaed’s dog, Wilson, in front of the capitol above.

    Last night was “Bark in the Park” night at Turner Field in which people brought their dogs, dressed up in Braves attire, to the ball game. The real fans were the dogs the sporting group. It was more fun to hear them barking all night at the umpire than listening to people doing the wave.

    I wonder if Alan’s dog is a blue dog or a yellow dog and if he laps Red Dog.

  • Post Title: “The Bad News & the Good News”

    Guess which this is: Why Women Can’t Be Bosses

    Since before the dawn of the 20th century, women have rallied against alleged improper treatment within the workplace. From suffrage to sexual harassment, feminism to workplace equality, women have been making leaps and bounds toward “fairness,” but are women really equal?

    No, of course not. Anyone who says they are is either grossly misinformed or a woman — or probably both. The fact is that the glass ceiling exists for a reason — a very important reason. If the glass ceiling was removed and women were promoted to ubiquitous positions of power, the economy would grind to a halt.

    …Truth is, women simply cannot be bosses. The business world is set up in such a way that women are ill-equipped to be successful.

    …Leading an office is not unlike leading troops into battle. There are goals to attain, hills to take, battles to win — all of which require decisive leadership and the respect of those serving underneath. Women just cannot engender that sort of respect in their troops due to the backstabbing, the grudge-holding and the constant emotional outbursts. Women are better than men at some things, but being the boss sure ain’t one of ’em.

    I don’t classify this as good or bad news. It isn’t even news.

  • A guy comes into a bar one day and says to the bartender, “Give me eight double vodkas.”

    The bartender says, “Wow! you must have had a hell of a day.” “Yes, I just found out my older brother is gay.”

    The next day the same guy comes into the bar and asks for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, “I just found out that my younger brother is gay too!”

    On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another eight double vodkas. The bartender said, “Jesus! Doesn”t anybody in your family like women?”

    “Yeah, my wife…”

  • Something that interests you, and this isn’t from “The Onion.”

    Cher’s daughter Chastity Bono is changing gender from female to male

    …Chastity, the only child of the “I Got You, Babe” singing duo, will have gender reassignment surgery, according to Us magazine – although Bragman declined to confirm the operation.

    “He is proud of his decision and grateful for the support and respect that has already been shown by his loved ones,” said Bragman, declining to answer any questions.

    Bono became a vocal advocate of gay and transgendered rights after going public with her sexuality.

    There was no immediate comment from Cher, who initially cringed at her daughter’s lesbianism before making peace with Chastity. Her father, Sonny Bono, died in 1998.

    Gay leaders hailed Bono’s decision as courageous and “an important step forward.”

    “Coming out as a transgender is an extremely personal decision and one that is never made lightly,” said Neil Giuliano, president of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.

    “We look forward to hearing Chaz’s story in his own words in the future.” ….

    How could this happen to a child who grew up with such normal parents?

  • Woody your stupidity like earth … No one knows its origins … Your brain subject of great debate for generations … None of most brilliant ancient thinkers understand how you could get so stupid in such a short time … Now it up to you in interest of science to put end to debate … You must wander ends of earth in search of answer to why you so stupid.

  • Woody, leave blogging and go back to what your father always wanted you to become … A ventriloquist.

  • Good news or bad news?

    Pot for personal use may be legal in California by 2010

    The group of (Richard Lee, the executive director of Oaksterdam University, a major medical marijuana dispensary and advocacy group in Oakland, and a founder of TaxCannabis2010.org, sponsor of the initiative) argues that legalization could generate billions of dollars in annual sales tax revenues for California….

    Lee said the group plans to begin gathering signatures in August and fully expects to get the required 650,000 signatures by January to qualify for the November 2010 ballot. …Already, he said, the group has ambitious plans to hire paid signature gatherers….(ACORN, which will only need two hours).

    Even if the initiative is successful in California, marijuana would still be illegal under federal law, although backers hope a change here would lead to a change in federal law.

    Other marijuana-related legislation is making its way before state voters. Oakland voters will in weeks begin voting on a July special election mail-in ballot that includes Measure F, which would make their city the first in the nation to establish a new tax rate for “cannabis businesses.”

    reg would finally be a major revenue source for Oakland.

  • Anyone who appreciates B-Movies may be interested to know that The Globe Theatre in Pasadena will be presenting Battle of the B-Grades on Sunday, 28th of June.

    From 2 pm, for the reasonable price of $15 (or $5 for a single session) – they will be showing: The Blob, The Brain that Wouldn’t Die, Plan 9 from Outer Space, Robot Monster, &, Attack of The Killer Tomatoes.

    Keep watching the skies!

  • I agree Woody’s jokes suck, anonymousa’s #1 commnets are funny, inspiring, and just plain great.

  • Eddie Haskell: “If your dumb brother Woody tags along Wally, I’m gonna – oh, good afternoon, Mrs. Fremon. I was just telling Wallace how pleasant it would be for Woody to accompany us to the movies.”

  • “surely there’s something that can be discussed here besides attacking Woody.”

    Yeah, we need more posts about me being a child molesting pothead and mean jokes about gay and transgender folks….

  • Blame the Unions – The real reason California is in such bad shape.

    – – –

    reg checked into a room at a motel and he said to the desk clerk, “I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled.”

    “No,” the clerk replied, “it’s regular porn, you sicko.”

    – – –

    A little old lady is sitting in the violin section, fumbling for notes in a difficult key signature. After a few minutes the conductor becomes so enraged that he hits her on the head with his music stand, and the poor old dear dies instantly.

    Not surprisingly, he is convicted and put on death row. Just before he is to be electrocuted, his last request is for 12 pounds of bananas, which he devours. They strap him into the chair, flip the switch, and he just sits there, smiling. According to tradition, this is considered a reprieve from God and he is freed.

    Somehow he gets his old job back, and he is happily conducting the orchestra when the bassoon player goes sharp. Enraged, he lunges out with his baton, skewering the offender’s neck and killing him. Again, he is convicted and sent to death row.

    He again eats the 12 pounds of bananas, and lo and behold, the electricity does not harm him. This time the executioner cleans the contacts, makes him sit in a bucket of water, he tries everything – but the conductor won’t die. So again, he is set free.

    Amazingly he regains his job. It takes him 1 day to lose his temper and beat to death a trombonist. He returns to death row, eats the bananas, and survives the electrocution. At this point, the executioner can take no more – his professional pride has been hurt. Before setting our friend free again, he asks him his secret – “What is
    it with the bananas?”

    “Oh, the bananas have nothing to do with it,” replies our friend,

    …”I’m just a very bad conductor.”

Leave a Comment