The homeless man who was doused with gasoline last week and then burned to death, was named John Robert McGraham.
In today’s LA Times, Hector Becerra does an excellent job of describing how McGraham’s life—and death—mattered.
But also very much worth reading is the emailed letter that McGraham’s sister sent to the Times in which she talks about what it is like to have a beloved brother living on the street. Here are some clips:
I wish people better understood the mental turmoil a human being can go through that puts and keeps them in such a place that they can’t seem to get out. Our family has tried for many, many years to help him but it seemed beyond our reach. My siblings no longer live in the LA area but we always came each Christmas with food, clothing, money, treats. I brought my two children and my then-husband by each Thanksgiving as well. I came more frequently, as my business demands allowed, and saw him last about three weeks ago when I brought my cousin to see him, bring him food, give him money.
. . . “Though I can’t explain the intense sadness and anger I feel, it has been a great comfort to myself and my brothers and sisters to know that he was not completely alone, unnoticed, untouched by other humans — because that was what we had imagined. The people who did this need to be identified and brought to justice. If they could perform such a cruel act on our brother, they will do it to someone else and we shouldn’t sit by and let that happen.
“I hope the horrific crime against our brother will make people realize that homeless people are human, they do have family, they are cared for. Several people, when they had learned my brother was homeless for more than two decades would say, ‘He chooses to live this way then.’
“I find that comment so offensive and so lacking compassion. Some might say we all choose to be where we are, but we don’t all start on an even playing field, and we aren’t all dealt the same cards…..
(photo by Beatrice de Gea, LA Times)
This cruel act was committed by someone or, likely, some people who should be. They chose a homeless man, but they may have chosen other people or helpless animals to kill or torture for their sick pleasures in the past, and may continue in the future. I hope they are caught. It’s too bad that justice doesn’t allow murderers to be executed in the same way that they executed their victims, but no civilized person could be the executioner for that.
The first sentence of the email is worth reading again.
“I wish people better understood the mental turmoil a human being can go through that puts and keeps them in such a place that they can’t seem to get out.”
Homelessness seems, to me, to be trap made worse and continued by a state of mind. It isn’t necessarily caused by other people, society, or government. Safety nets provided by them mainly help only people who want to use the nets. So, once someone has lost hope, and maybe pride interferes, too, those forces, along with the churches, could be be the solutions to help them recover. And, for real solutions, this should not be an issue of politics but one of sincere suggestions and aid.
However, I don’t know what to say or think when family members reach out to help but the ones in need are too far along to be able to use that help to get out of their state of mind and being. That’s far beyond my ability to reason, and likely is too far for most who think that they can figure it out.
It should make one believe in prayer, because it may take some supernatural power to help such individuals in distress.
In the meantime, let’s hope that the sick people who murdered this man are caught, and let’s hope that similar potential murderers are identified and helped before they do something like this in the future.
I’m so sorry for this man and his family.
Very sad story, yet on TV news I saw many of the people from that neighborhood outraged and sad because they knew McGrahm as a long time homeless person who they sympathized with.
I often wonder what really causes the incredible numbers of homeless people we have in the USA compared to most other modern industrial nations, or even many third world countries. Yes I understand that the huge homeless population is made up of many people that are mentally ill, drug addicted, alcoholics, ect, ect. But the question is still why so many?
Maybe it’s partly due to our notion of what constitutes success and failure? Why is it that so much pressure is put on children to fit into a mold that we as a society have devised and propped up, perceived as success, which always has something to do with materialism and the almighty dollar.
Even the oft used term in our schools “To Get Ahead” seems suspect, Being number One, A type A personality destined for success, He’s driven to succeed.
I wonder how many of these homeless people were just different, had different talents, maybe a little more brittle or sensitive?
They didn’t fit the mold, or were disappointments to their parents and their view of success.
Lot’s of disappointments living out on the streets.
John was my friend and I am deeply hurt by this action. John was loved by more than anyone could ever know. I wouldnt miss his memorial for the world. He was more than a bum more than a man. John changed me and many others for the better.. RIP John your finally free