…Said the 911 operator to the panicked Dearborn, MI, cop, who evidently scarfed so many weed-laced brownies (made from marijuana he personally stole from a drug bust) that he wasn’t sure if his call—or the sports scores he was seeing on TV—were merely figments of his pot-fueled hallucination.
(Floral chapeau tip to Ann Althouse for finding this piece of comedy-theater-of the real.)
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COP: “I think we’re dying…..I think we’re dead, I really do…..Time is going by, really, really, really slow…”
911 OPERATOR: Did you guys eat ALL the brownies?
COP: “Yeah, I think we did.”
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Rest assured there’s no political or social justice point to this post, whatsoever. It’s simply to lighten up your Friday before I go back to more serious things. Additional details may be found in yesterday’s Detroit Free Press clipped below:
Dearborn police declined to pursue criminal charges against an officer last year, even after the cop admitted to taking marijuana from criminal suspects and, with his wife, cooking it up in brownies.
Then-Cpl. Edward Sanchez was allowed to resign from the department, but he was not charged with a crime.
His wife, Stacy Sanchez, admitted to police investigators that on another occasion she removed cocaine from her husband’s police cruiser — drugs purportedly earmarked to train police dogs — and used it during a three-week binge. She, too, has not been charged criminally.
Never mind that had you or I engaged in the same behavior, we would have found ourselves with our respective asses in the slammer, forthwith. What a fun couple!
The decision not to charge Sanchez upset Dearborn Councilman Doug Thomas, who said the department’s inaction sends the wrong message to the public.
Ya, think???
“If you’re a cop and you’re arresting people and you’re confiscating the marijuana and keeping it yourself, that’s bad. That’s real bad. That’s like apprehending a bank robber and keeping some of the money for yourself.”
“Are you experienced?” Evidently not, poor baby.
Happy Friday.
[Head on the keyboard with the tears rolling down my cheeks.] AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH (HAH…sniff…HAH…sniff) AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
TGIF, Celeste. Thanks.
Wonder if they used Alice B. Toklas’ recipe?
Maybe they could bake a few more batches and hold a bake sale to benefit the legal defense fund of the MacArthur Park baton squad.
That’s like apprehending a bank robber and keeping some of the money for yourself.
Not exactly. Money is legal tender.
Why do you liberals always find wrong with the police? Instead, shouldn’t we focus on police who are really dedicated to their jobs?
Vice cops patrolling strip clubs
Do you think that these men wanted to do that? Give them some credit for looking out for the rest of us.
It just goes to show that the best way to avoid prosecution is to eat the evidence. (3 week binge on stolen coke ? – not to make too light of the obviously unfair avoidance of legal charges, but these people are their own punishment.)
True recent story – A friend’s dad was hanging out at her brother’s all by his lonesome. He got hungry. Found a nice brownie in plastic wrap in the fridge. Ate it. Started feeling very weird. Ended up heading for the hospital. Doc couldn’t find anything wrong with him. Finally asked him if he’d eaten anything that might be making him feel sick. When the guy told him all he’d eaten was one of his son’s brownies, the doctor just started laughing.
Reg….Hilarious! I needed that!