by Barbara Schmitz
Fresh from law school twenty years ago, one of my duties involved representing people who had been in violent relationships. Per standard practice, in each case the client and I went to court seeking an order of protection, also known as a restraining order.
Rarely did the defendants in those cases show up in court. Meanwhile, my clients had often left their homes and been forced to start over. Some of my clients wound up in shelters with their children. As a practical matter, it was difficult for me to help them obtain emotional or mental health support for themselves or their children. Due to limited resources, the most I could offer was a time-limited court order aimed at providing a measure of physical safety.
One client comes to mind from that time. I will call her Delilah to protect confidentiality and her privacy. Delilah came to me with a bruise on her face and marks on her arms. She and her spouse had two young children, and she asked me to lay out her options. At that time, there were two choices: Either both parents stayed in the home or one of them would leave. Delilah decided that an order of protection was needed and we went to court.
When the case was called up for hearing, Delilah’s husband showed up in court. To keep Delilah and her husband physically separate, I negotiated with him out in the hall. He was angry and defensive, and our conversation was tense and, at one point, loud. We could not agree, so the court heard the case, issued the order of protection, and the husband was ordered out of the home.
This approach to addressing domestic violence is based on an either-or approach: Either both individuals remain in the home and muddle through without any real improvement in the relationship, or one individual is removed from the home and faces the financial and sometimes carceral implications. Typically, neither option offers the emotional or mental health support that could lead to genuine healing or growth.
But there is another way.
A couple of years after meeting Delilah, I became aware of restorative justice techniques. The practice was gaining traction as a tool in criminal justice settings. As an attorney I was interested in how it might benefit the families I was regularly encountering in my practice.
Although ultimately I took several career turns that led me away from my direct work with survivors of domestic violence, I have continued to follow the evolution of restorative practices. I believe that they deserve greater attention as a possible means to improve our society’s current approach to addressing domestic violence.
Restorative justice has been used for centuries by indigenous people to address conflicts. As with other common problems, they recognized the value of applying a community-based approach. The focus is on healing, addressing the underlying individual harm, identifying any spill-over harm to the community, and attempting to restore individuals to a sense of wholeness where possible.
Restorative justice techniques, when applied, can increase empathy and strengthen bonds between the parties in conflict, and their broader social circle.
This approach often does not rely on government interventions through the court systems. Instead it uses techniques that can empower the individuals who have been harmed and ensure that their voices are heard, while also making room for family members, and other relevant members of the community to play a role.
Several campaigns and community organizations advocate for the use of restorative justice to address domestic and sexual violence – where the impacted individuals are willing to do so. According to Gustavo López, research director at the Alliance for Boys and Men of Color, the goal is to move from punishment and shame to community healing by utilizing restorative justice techniques like dialogue and a circle process.
Researchers have been studying these techniques as well in order to identify the best practices. The evidence is building that these techniques can bring real healing to those who do not wish their spouse, partner or other person who has caused them harm to be punished by law enforcement.
I never got to use restorative justice in my own practice as an attorney because my career changed directions and I began working with public policy officials instead of representing clients. But now, two decades later, I am studying to become a restorative justice facilitator in schools.
One reason I want to bring restorative justice to schools is because I believe it can help disrupt the cycle of violence, in which families like Delilah’s so often get stuck.
Domestic violence also bears an obvious relationship to adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), which are potentially traumatic events that occur in childhood. According to the Centers for Disease Control, adverse childhood experiences can include violence, abuse, and growing up in a family with mental health or substance use problems. Toxic stress from these experiences can change brain development and affect how the body responds to stress.
ACES are linked to chronic health problems, mental illness, and substance misuse in adulthood. However, these experiences and their impact can be prevented and mitigated—which can, in turn help children and adults thrive.
Restorative justice as an intervention and prevention technique for domestic violence is aligned with efforts to address ACEs, as both can involve the whole family and help teach them how to resolve conflict through dialogue. In a school setting, restorative justice can provide tools, and demonstrate to youth how to use those tools to resolve conflicts in healthier and more empowering ways.
I do wonder what would have happened if Delilah, and many of my other clients, had had access to restorative justice. Would that court hearing and the court order have been avoided? Would her family instead have stayed intact and had the opportunity for healing?
One-size solutions tend to create gaps. I hope that restorative justice can provide options and alternatives to fill those gaps for families moving forward.
Author Barbara Schmitz is an advocate and champion for babies and young children with First 5 California, and has dedicated her career to helping society’s most vulnerable. She obtained her license to practice law in 1994 while working on poverty law issues, and then managed two successful statewide ballot measures protecting animals. Schmitz is currently studying to obtain a facilitator certification in restorative justice.
This article was produced in collaboration with the California Health Report.